What's Worse?

The walking sleeping bag or the Slanket?





Walking sleeping bag as seen on Tokyomango
And the slanket, as seen in our living room

A Must Listen

If you don't have this you album you should correct the problem now.  Seriously.


Sick But Funny

I have to admit that the running turkey in this commerical totally makes me laugh.

My Kind Of Spectacular


The description from Boston.com:  "Boston-area performance artists band together to bring you Boston's newest holiday tradition: "THE SLUTCRACKER. This scene-by-scene retelling of the Nutcracker, written and directed by Vanessa White, is resplendent with ribald parody and "whisks the audience away to a carefree realm of sexual fantasy." THE SLUTCRACKER is the sexy-freaky holiday zeitgeist spectacular that will make you squeal--and it just might get you laid."

Sexy-freaky holiday zeitgeist spectacular?  Sure, I'd see it!



 Via Boston.com

Link to The Slutcracker

Jeebus!

Watched Antichrist on Friday night. So freaky!   Has anyone seen this?

One of these things IS like the other


Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees a naughty resemblance here...


Hint:  It's not the mini-motorbike that I'm thinking of.

What's Pink, Hard and Salty?

A Himalayan Salt Plate of course.  Duh.  Saw this while browsing the NYT's Holiday Gift Guide

This large hunk of salt can be used to cook anything from meat to fish (or even fry eggs as the picture suggests) either on your grill or on your stovetop burner.   Supposedly it cooks your food perfectly while imbuing it with salt.  And since it's naturally antimicrobial the cleanup consists of scrubbing your slab with a brush under water and patting dry.   Similar to a pizza stone, I guess.    I don't think it's something that I would use but it's cool nonetheless.





You Know It's Bad

When even this looks attractive:


Chia Mullet

Business Up Front, Party In Back.

Am I alone in thinking that he kind of resembles Lawrence from Office Space?





R.I.P. Milo

Sometimes making the right decision can feel so wrong. Fuck.


Rest Stops and Interstates

They are never dull....



Chuck and Charlene

Awesome Leaf Jumping


Thanks Pablo!

 I like to think that I've got some skillz when it comes to finding out information which is why it irked me to no end that I could not find out who sang the song played at 1:10 in:


After spending a stoopid amount of time searching I ended up stumbling upon the Soundtrack INFO project site and decided to post my question there.

Now, almost two months later, my question has been answered:

The State Of All Things Brown


This, my friends, is where I've been spending the past three weeks.  It's sooooo brown......

And here's some music currently in rotation:

Are You That Somebody (Aaliyah cover) / Gossip I'm a little surprised at this - both that Gossip did a cover of this song and that I like it.

Gloomy Monday Morning / The Black Hollies Love the 60's sound here.

Into The Clouds / The Sound of Arrows Yes, this is filling my 'fabulous' quota for this week.

Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

Am now on week 3 of my Grand Jury stint and the ratio of fascinating to disturbing/depressing is about 5 : 10. Yuck.

Something funny did happen this week though -  Ms. Firecrochet was asked by the Attorney General to refrain from crocheting as they have been getting some comments from the witnesses.  BWA!

This picture is from my walk in to court this morning.  I passed by the Cable Car Cinema and spotted these fun movie reel bike racks. 

Dance Mix 89

Today I listened to an old mix tape of mine:















Side A
Bring Me Edelweiss / Edelweiss (I still love this song.)
Route 66 / Depeche Mode
Blister In The Sun / Violent Femmes
Kiss Me / Stephen Duffy
Tenderness / General Public
She Drives Me Crazy / Fine Young Cannibals
I Beg Your Pardon / Kon Kan
A Little Respect / Erasure
She Wants To Dance With Me / Rick Astley (BWA!)
Funky Cold Medina / Tone Loc
Round and Round / New Order


OW! I Burned My Hand!

Week 2 of Grand Jury:

When selling an item on craigslist, do not agree to meet the prospective buyer alone, in a bad part of town...at niiiight.

Illegal entrance onto a premise with criminal intent during the day is called Breaking and Entering and is considered a felony. This very same action is called Burglary and is then considered a capital offense when committed...at niiiight.

Before fleeing the scene of a crime, always check to make sure you didn't drop your wallet on the floor because it'll be a bummer when the po po knock on your door...at niiiight.
















(For proper intonation, click here and then re-read.)

Dear Firecrochet,

As we begin our second week of Grand Jury service do you think you can take it upon yourself to *not* crochet while victims and witnesses are testifying? Although the sweater you're making looks beautiful I'm pretty sure last week's victim was just as appreciative as me of your indifference as he testified, in tears, to being robbed and severely beaten.

Sincerely,

Junior Deputy Foreskin

Halloween!

Zombie Elton John, Pumpkin Pussy and Bucktooth Billy.

We did have a total of six but three were casualties of Cabbage Night.


Life Is A Lemon

...And I Want My Money Back. I personally hate Meat Loaf the singer but hey, it went with the post.  Kinda.

I love this meatloaf hand! I don't think I'd have the patience for something like this but I love that someone else gave it a shot and included such detailed notes along the way.  (And I love the fact that she included a cute pancake chaser at the end.)



And while I'm on the topic of food, I just have to say that I have a new addition to my "If I Ever Own A Restaurant" list. Tonight I ate at a restaurant where the waiter was not wearing a tie clip. This would never be allowed in my restaurant. I can't even begin to describe to you the all kinds of disgusted I was at seeing his patriotic tie sliding this way and that across my salad as he reached across the table to give my friend her drink. So not cool. From now on, tie clips must be worn and all butter served soft!

And So It Begins...

  • There are 23 people, myself included, serving on the Grand Jury.
  • 98% of them are extremely bitter that they will be serving for the next 6 weeks.  The exceptions being myself and a mystery writer with fierce red hair who likes to crochet.  And yes, I have since nicknamed her "firecrochet".  I'm so mature, I know.
  • The Grand Jury room is so not grand.  I'm thinking shabby chic with the emphasis on shabby.
  • I was appointed Junior Deputy Foreperson.   What that is I'm not sure but I'm throwing that title around the homestead like it means something.
More to come!

Scary Movie Roll Call

Fur:  An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus (2006):   
Okay, this is not a horror flick but I’m including it here anyway because of the fur factor. I was a little ick'ed out by the ridiculously hirsute Robert Downey Jr. but then seeing Nicole Kidman wear the fur jacket that was made from none other than his very own hair really grossed me out. One could argue that this was a very sweet and intimate gesture in that the fur jacket was symbolic of his undying love for her but I just couldn't make the leap.  Interestingly enough, Secretary was directed by the same guy.  Makes sense considering the fetish bent.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980): 
Disturbing exploitation film.  I felt dirty after watching this.  And not in a good way.  My one word review: Yikes. 

Them (2006):
No, not the film about giant ants although that’s pretty good too. This is a French horror film that is downright scary and has a really good twist at the end. I highly recommend this film.

Cabin Fever (2002):
Quirky and scary.  Not for the faint hearted.   And if you are familiar with who Topanga is/was then you'll recognize the leading actor in this film.


Trick ‘r Treat (2008):
This was okay.  Not as good as I had hoped but some neat twists here and there.  Certainly no Creepshow.

Next up:  Hell House.  A documentary about fundamentalist Christian "hell houses" that try to scare people into believing that they are damned to hell if they don't accept Christ as their savior.   It's totally reminiscent of Jesus Camp.

p.s.
I fixed the linkage issues for RDJ's fur-o-rama and the oh so lovely fur jacket

Fierce and Fabulous

I bought We Love Katamari yesterday and my "ball vision" has returned.  I love that game.


Hey -- This Ain't Permanent!

Okay, my inquisitive mind needs your help.  Click play and pay attention at 1:10 in ---- what song is that playing?  It sounds familiar but I can't find it for the life of me.  It doesn't seem to be on the soundtrack and I'm not quite sure how to phrase my google search terms.  "Song played while Alicia gives Ben a dust job" just isn't cutting it.

Planet Air

My friend Susan hipped me to Kate Pierson's Kate's Lazy Meadow Motel where you can spend the night in an airstream named 'Planet Air' or one of the cabin suites.   It's not cheap but it looks like fun.  I personally love that one of the cabins has a sink that looks like a face with the cutest nose ever!



[sigh]

Must there always be a face?!


Celeriac

"Celeriac" is one of the shorts being shown at this year's RI International Horror Film Fest.  The fact that it's a short thriller involving celery just kills me!  Here it is:

Murder by Death


Not great, certainly not bad - just a whole lot of silliness:


MILO PERRIER (James Coco)
What do you make of all this, Wang?

SIDNEY WANG (Peter Sellars)
Is confusing.

LIONEL TWAIN (Truman Capote)
[from moose head] IT! IT is confusing! Say your goddamn pronouns!

Dum Dum

At the end of October I'm going to be serving on a Grand Jury.  Since my only "insight" to the process is from watching Law & Order episodes I decided I should edumacate myself. 

The American Bar Association has a FAQ article about Grand Juries which is interesting and somewhat surprising.  Here are some highlights:
  • The primary function of the modern grand jury is to review the evidence presented by the prosecutor and determine whether there is probably cause to return an indictment.
  • Since the role of the grand jury is only to determine probable cause, there is no need for the jury to hear all the evidence, or even conflicting evidence. It is left to the good faith of the prosecutor to present conflicting evidence.
  • The Fifth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution requires a grand jury indictment for federal criminal charges. Only about half the states now use grand juries.
  • Unlike regular jury service, grand jurors are not screened for biases or other improper factors.
  • A grand jury witness can talk about their testimony but a grand juror is sworn to secrecy.
  • A witness cannot have his/her attorney present but can leave the room to consult with them if needed.
  • There is no judge present during grand jury proceedings.  The prosecutor seems to call all the shots.
I have to admit that I'm looking forward to the whole thing.  Should be interesting to say the least.  Plus, it'll be 6 weeks out of my life that I don't have to spend in an office park in Woonsocket, RI.

That's What She Said

Yes, it's true, it's yet another Yo Gabba Gabba post.  I obviously can't get enough of them.

Click here to watch the Don't Eat Me, I'm Dirty psa that showcases the cutest piece of toast and 'tiny ugly germs' with moustaches.   


Definition of Awkward

Showing up to what you thought was a girl's night out and there being a sea of couples instead.


Rogue Goes Trick 'r Treating

Scary movies know no seasonal boundaries with me but this is the month in which I seriously indulge.  Check out the trailer below for Trick 'r Treat which apparently was released straight to DVD in 2008.  This is definitely being added to the queue.   It's totally reminiscent of Creepshow.  (Plus it's got an evil small person running around!)

Eat To The Beat

I've been a cooking fool this month.  Here are some "weiners":

Sweet Potato and Hominy Stew
  • Simple one-dish dinner that’s yummy and extremely filling.
  • Do not make this in a saucepan as the recipe suggests.   This sucker needs to be made in a large pot.  I opted for the saucepan and ended up having to do a mid-cooking transfer to something larger.  Not the end of the world but annoying nonetheless.
  • Skip the suggested side dish of polenta – the stew was great by itself.  But definitely don't skip the cilantro and the lime wedges!
  • Oh and you may want to check that your grocery store sells canned hominy.  I had no problems but my mom couldn't find a grocery store near her that sold them.  Hominy is corn and looks like this.
  • Bizarrely enough this recipe came from Glamour magazine.  The long marinade time (4 hours) will allow you to read all those articles that you don't admit to anyone about reading.
  • It’s ridiculously easy to make.  The marinade takes all of 5 minutes to make and the meat just takes 10 minutes to broil.  
  • I served it with broccoli and white rice (although I’d suggest serving it with cous cous instead – the rice was a little too heavy.) 
  • Oh how I love me some motherf'n meatballs.  Forget the pasta – I could subside on meatballs alone.
  • Instead of the usual veal/beef/pork combo these were made with Italian sausage along with pine nuts and currants.  Pretty darn tasty. 
  • The sauce was good too but I'll be sure to double it next time.

Your Sparta Likes It

This is totally missing from this.

Edit: Totally SFW but you may want to turn the volume down and take some dramamine for the 2nd link, at least for the opening sequence.

Site Redesign in Progress

Time for a change.

Stay tuned.


...

I Wish I Hadn't

Why oh why did I feel the need to find out more about Disco Tex?

(Please tell me that's a stuffed animal in his arms!)

Decisions..Decisions...





These were pretty special too. But I think I'd have to go with the thigh high's.

The Brilliant Lines of Ulysses' Bum

I have a neat site for you to check out: The Brilliant Line

It's a pretty fun and informative teaser for an upcoming show about the art of engraving at the RISD Museum of Art.

When checking out the prints make sure to do the "Analyze Lines" feature. Very cool. The video was worth checking out too.




It Could Be Worse

Forget the Flu

Head lice suck. Period.

Thankfully only one of us had them (not me, I sweah) but you only know that after treating everyone as if they're infested. This includes: a trip to the shower to wash your hair followed by an application of a creamsicle-colored smelly ointment followed by another trip to the shower followed by having someone pick through your hair with a fine-tooth comb in disgust for an hour or so.

Wouldn't you think in this day and age there'd be an over the counter treatment available that would do the trick with one shampoo?
















Creative Commons photo by:

I Blame The Haluski

In its deceivingly cute accordion-playing bowl with legs. (I am such a sucker for packaging!) But seriously, although I wish I could blame the Haluski for all my ills (and for making me purchase the polish polka platter at an amusement park) I can only thank the flu. Ugh - I don't wish this upon my worst enemy.

Amish Sasquatch

There's definitely some competition here for the lawn hobo.

Name That Apparatus

I Sing Whenever I Sing...

Will be out of pocket for a little bit. Heading to PA to hang out with my sister (excellent!) and we're actually going to do some camping. Hold your laughter please.

I will leave you with the rockin’ theme song from Gammera The Invincible, which we saw last night. (Great movie by the way. Silly but in a really neat way. The Giant Gila Monster not so much. That was bad to the core, ukulele and all.)

Poor Gammera, he's just a misunderstood giant turtle monster (and sometime UFO). To quote Toschio, the little boy in the movie who has a compassion for turtles, "he's just big and clumsy”.

Gammera by The Moons


Smell you later!

Fruit With Attitude

 

Ain't Nothin' Goin' On But The Rent

Not too much going on this week other than the music I can't stop listening to:

And a video that I just love:

Mustard Marvin

There's also a Ketchup Charlie which I think would be better suited for the mustard bottle. Not that yellow stuff coming out of Marvin's mouth isn't gross but I'd rather that than red stuff coming out of someone's nose oozing out onto my dawg.




BTW, to all you people who have central air: I'm so jealous.

Fat Head

Got a peek at the Death Pool that's circulating around work.

There seems to be some likely candidates missing from this portion of the list. Terry Gilliam, Tom Jones, Willie Nelson and William Shatner to name a few.

The "Risk Factors" crack me up though.

Click the photo to enlarge:

Monster Mask Making

 

More Mutant Tax

Traffic Court. Need I say more?

Some observations:
  • Some people hired Attorneys to plead guilty but with a good driving record. Why hire an Attorney when you could plead the same yourself (like I did) and only pay the $35 Court fee?
  • All of these Attorneys looked like Sean Penn in Carlito's Way but only grosser. How many tassle shoes can one girl take in a week?
  • Window tinting was a pretty popular offense. If you didn't prove that the tinting was removed then you'd have to pay a $250 fine.
  • The Bailiff was not at all like Bull from Night Court. Nor did the Judge do magic.
(Apparently I did need to say more...)

Goober Time!

Because I am indeed a goober I am totally posting photos of the new car. I'm in love with the iPod controls on the steering wheel! The only thing I need to learn is how to disable the speed sensitive volume control.

Mutant Tax

Got a great deal on a car today although we did have to pay a sizeable mutant tax for dealing with the car salesman. I have to say that I was surprised by how stereotypical the whole process was. I just about died when the car salesman came back after his 3rd time of talking with his manager and made the following list:
  1. Color
  2. Price
  3. Me
He said that it must be one of these three reasons why we're not committing to a deal. Can anyone say awkward? I didn't have the heart to tell him that it really was him and his car salesman tassle shoes and lazy eye so instead we said price. Luckily for us it resulted in him going back to his manager a couple more times and negotiating an even lower deal. Sweet!

Ouch!

The List of Eww Just Got Longer

Eww, Eww and Eww

Went to my Mom's Town pool this weekend and yup, this truly happened. Gross.

(Warning: The clip is completely SFW but don't bother going to the URL tagged at the end. Unless you're Phuxter.)

NSFO

I Have Come Here to Chew Bubblegum and Kick A$$...

...and I'm all out of bubblegum.

I love this.


Action Movie Cliche: The Witty Retort from Resident Clinton on Vimeo.

The Trollenberg Terror

The Trollenberg Terror (aka The Crawling Eye) is totally one of those movies that I remember watching as a kid. I know I've seen it more than once and from what I can remember it was always on at weird times, like Saturdays at 4:30 p.m. Gee, I wonder why.

Even though I could remember bits and pieces of the film I couldn't, for the life of me, remember the title..until today. I think my Google search was something like "horror film about giant squid in alps" and voila!

Please tell me I'm not alone in seeing this horrible gem of a movie!




There's another movie though that I just can't locate. And part of my problem is that I'm not even sure if it was a movie or an Outer Limits episode. What I do remember is this:
  • black and white film
  • set in the future
  • (possibly) set on a different planet
  • at certain points during the day the people on this planet would have to don special glasses and find cover so as to not get harmed by this lethal "rain".
  • This "rain" looked like glass.
Does anyone remember this at all?

They're No Lawn Hobo...

...but they're pretty damn funny.

Sears Tower Skydeck Ledge

Now Presenting...

The "Lawn Hobo". There's no confusing this with a garden gnome.

A Natural Fit?

At least the harmonica is non-toxic.

Clean Living Experiment

So I started a Clean Living Experiment. I wanted to make a change for myself and I figured why pay for a program when all I need to do is go to bed early and exercise. My theory is that doing those 2 things should, in and of themselves, prevent me from other vices. So I've been forcing myself to go to bed early which means 10:30 on most nights. And I've been walking every morning at 5:30. The hardest part has been forcing myself to go to bed. I am such a crazy night owl it's not even funny but within a day or so I saw the benefits such as increased energy and sounder sleep. As for the exercise, I can honestly say that I'm a little addicted at this point. I've been walking about 5000 steps each morning which is roughly 2 miles. Below are my observations:
  • Many people spend many hours perfecting their lawn. We are not one of them;
  • I pass by one of these every morning. I'm thinking of changing my route;
  • Apparently I'm in the minority of not liking gazing balls;
  • Lawn hobos are the new lawn jockey;
  • Instead of Mary in the half-shell there's Mary in the half-tub; and
  • Shin splints are the devil's handiwork.

Willy Wrapper Wednesday

I'm guessing they smell like bananas?

The Faster The Beat, The Sweeter The Meat

I could be wrong but something tells me that this won't be making it to PPAC anytime soon. Just a hunch.

The horrible games on their site did make me laugh though, especially this one. My beat was totally fast yet I still couldn't make my meat sweet!

Drat, Drat and Double Drat

On Boing Boing today there was a post about Stephane Halleux's awesome robot characters.

The robots are really amazing but I think what I dug most were the cars. Although they're not flying machines, they totally remind me of something you'd see in a Dastardly and Muttley cartoon. Definitely check them out.




Link to Boing Boing post.

Link to Stephane Halleux.

Another Wednesday, Another Banana

For all you dom's out there, here's a nice leather one for you:

What a Maroon!

Another Wednesday, Another Banana

Today I present to you the ugly-speckled-ceramic-banana. Not every banana that I have is cute - in fact, the bulk of them are quite "special". This one looks like it's suffering from some type of disease.

Food Glorious Food

I usually don't write about food, which is surprising since I love to eat, but I made this over the weekend on the grill and it's too easy and yummy not to share:

Herbed Balsamic Chicken with Blue Cheese


And if you're not a fan of blue cheese I think it would still taste great even if you skipped that part.

Pictures at Last!

Absurdity Knocks

In honor of the Humpty Dance guy at work and because it's the hump day of the week I bring you the absurd a la banana:



















More to come...

In Ancient Times...

It's that time of the year for Manhattanhenge. Here's a 2 min. overview by Neil deGrasse Tyson. You've got to love his exuberance but dude, lose the vest.



In the notification I received about this event Tyson also touched upon this:
While we are on the subject, when viewed from all latitudes north of the Tropic of Cancer (23.5 degrees north latitude), the Sun always rises at an angle up and to the right, and sets and an angle down and to the right. That's how you can spot a faked sunrise in a movie: it moves up and to the left. Filmmakers are not typically awake in the morning hours to film an actual sunrise, so they film a sunset
instead, and then time-reverse it, thinking nobody will notice.
Has anyone spotted a faked sunrise in a movie? I can't remember the last movie I saw that featured one. A sunrise, that is. Now I'll be on the lookout. Move over exploding starfish...I now need to make room for this tidbit of information. Just park it right next to my phone number I had growing up.

So Teeny!

You totally know that this show caught my eye!

The premiere is tonight at 10 -- be there or be doing something more productive with your time.

Out of Sorts

Check out this cool little documentary about letterpress.  The type looks so beautiful.  I love the close-ups  -  particularly  the ampersand and the Q.  

The Graduate!