Dear Firecrochet,

As we begin our second week of Grand Jury service do you think you can take it upon yourself to *not* crochet while victims and witnesses are testifying? Although the sweater you're making looks beautiful I'm pretty sure last week's victim was just as appreciative as me of your indifference as he testified, in tears, to being robbed and severely beaten.

Sincerely,

Junior Deputy Foreskin